Understanding

Understanding

Definition: (The definition must be looked up) Appreciate, comprehend, to accept as true

Synonyms: accept, conceive, distinguish, explain, figure out, realize, perceive, register, see, sympathize, empathize, tolerate

Antonyms: misunderstand, misinterpret, unaccepting

This is my fourth or fifth attempt at writing “understanding”. During my crawl to the finish line I have discovered a few things about myself. This is one of them.

Sometimes I feel like I do not understand anything at all. I do not understand why there is poverty, hunger, war, disease, and abuse, to name a few. I do however, accept that these things exist and this is what keeps me sane. It is in my willingness to accept the things I cannot change that I will find the willingness to change the things I can. I believe this comes from the Serenity Prayer, it’s a good one! There are some things that I do not want to accept as being true in my life. I have scars from the past that still bleed and this makes me vulnerable. During the last two weeks I have wondered why I am more accepting of others than I am of myself. I have come to the conclusion that I need to be more forgiving towards myself and my shortcomings. I need to accept my past as being what it is, grab the lesson and move myself into the present moment, for it is here that life needs me to be. I have this feeling that my lack of using “understanding” as a healthy emotion stems from an unforgiven past. I have been working at forgiving myself for my mistakes, and failures. We all have scars, right? We all have demons to battle, right? Some carry small knives; others carry large, dangerous, sharp swords. Some scab over and heal quickly, others require more care, a stitch or two. But every one of your demons and scars needs forgiveness before they can be put to rest.

Rule one: Understand that “understanding” lies in accepting things for what they are. Some things cannot be changed.

Rule Two: In order to enjoy feelings of true understanding we must choose to understand that the past is one of the things that cannot be changed. No matter how much you plan, the future really is unknown, so why on earth do we waste our present moments giving so much meaning to both the future and the past?

I am going to keep this one short. I believe that I need to personally work through this emotion daily if I am to be all that I can be. I have committed to learning how to live an understanding life, mentally, and whole heartedly. I want to accept today as being “demon free” and the only way to do this is to have no regrets. This will require forgiveness of self.

Rule Three: When demons knock, you have a choice; let them in and let them take over the party, or tell them you have learned the lesson they came to teach and quickly say good-bye. Which will you choose?

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes:

Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first, the lesson afterward. (Anonymous)

Understanding Part Two

If all else fails refer to a song.
 This is today’s pick:

”Sometimes it’s a Bitch” performed by Stevie Nicks, Lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi and Billy Falcon

(I hope you feel the “breeze” more often than the “bitch”)

Sometimes it's a Bitch

 

Well I've run through rainbows and castles of candy

I cried a river of tears from the pain

I try to dance with what life has to hand me

My partner's been pleasure, my partner's been pain

There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle

And dark desperate hours that nobody sees

My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain

My head in my hands, down on my knees

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes love's blind, and sometimes it sees

Sometimes it's roses, and, sometimes it's weeds

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure

I've laid down with love and I woke up with lies

What's it all worth only the heart can measure

It's not what's in the mirror, but what's left inside

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes love's blind, and sometimes it sees

Sometimes it's roses, and, sometimes it's weeds

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

You gotta take it as it comes

Sometimes it don't come easy

I've run through rainbows and castles of candy

And I've cried a river of tears from the pain

I tried to dance with what life had to hand me

And if I could, I'd do it all over again

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes love's blind, and sometimes it sees

Sometimes it's roses, and, sometimes it's weeds

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes the picture just ain't what it seems

You get what you want, but it's not what you need

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes, it's a breeze

Well it's a breeze, it's a breeze, it's a breeze