The emotion my daughter picked from the bunch was “worthwhile”. I have decided to use both worthwhile and worthy in my blog as worthy is something I can better identify with.
Worthwhile
Definition: Helpful
Synonyms: beneficial, gainful, good, invaluable, productive, useful
Antonyms: unhelpful, valueless, worthless
Worthy
Definition: honorable, respectable
Synonyms: dependable, admirable, best, pleasing, noble, valuable, worthwhile
Antonyms: Unworthy, dishonorable, disreputable, un-respected.
Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was someone who believed in dreams and dreaming, love and loving, everlasting bliss. On wings of hope she flew through life believing in the impossible, feeling as if anything were possible. She was young, hopeful, felt worthy of love, bliss, and dreams. She sailed through each day knowing that every wish would eventually come true, and if it didn’t, that was ok too; because life itself was the best wish she had been granted. She was alive with joy, emotions, and gratitude. Life was good. The days were bright, the nights filled with color, as she put pen to paper, purple ink coloring page after page with words meant to touch the hearts of some, the souls of others, the lives of many.
And then there came a day, not so long ago, when alone within her sorrow, her wounds, her tears, she gazed at the black ink on her page and discovered that every word was now about pain and suffering, each sentence filled with rage. She walked into the cage, sat still in the corner and cried. It was her choice to be there. Her time to find the emotion “worthy” once again.
It took more than one loss, one heart break, one thing going wrong, before she began writing in black, and it would take more than one good day before the colors of happiness would return to her. Worthwhile was a word from the past, she no longer knew its meaning, but she was determined to find it once again. It had taken years to fully experience this emotion that helped her feel noble, admired, and honored, that sometimes during her battle she wondered if would ever experience it again. Patient, she rose when she fell, stayed in the cage when she was too tired to get up, slept when her eyes were too heavy to open. After so many years with feelings of unworthiness taking control of her mind, her heart, and her pen, she felt like giving up, and it was then, that her eyes fell upon a set of words that would begin to bring back shades of purple, pink, and sky blue. These words were simply; it is up to you to make the best of what you are given. She made her choice.
One day, not so long ago, she returned purple ink to page, and it was on yellow lined paper that she began to scribble about hope, believing, happiness, and possibilities. Every word she wrote is worthwhile, every sentence believable, every moment of the past, be it the good or the bad, has been accepted as her life and it is all “OK”. All of the mistakes, the hurt, the doors left open, the ones closed, the roads less travelled, and those travelled by few, have all been accepted as a worthwhile experience. It is her life, nothing changed, as is, that helped her find the worthy person she is today. She accepted the parts of her past that had rocked her, the ones that shocked her, and those that knocked her on her ass. Every day is a new opportunity to try again, live again, and sometimes fail again, and that is OK too. She made herself a small list of rules and she tries, every day, to live by them. If ever she finds herself in the cage, feeling sad, or rage, or unworthy, she looks at her list, and soon she remembers that it is all just part of today, a day, not so long ago.
Rule one: To heal wounds, old and new, consider yourself worthy of healing. What you feel you are worthy of will eventually make its way to you.
Rule Two: Make the best of what you are given. It only hurts as long as you allow it to hurt.
Rule Three: Be a believer of worthiness, believe that nothing is impossible.
Rule Four: “I am worthy” are the most powerful words you can say to yourself, remember to say them today.
