Light-hearted
Definition: Buoyant, light, or lively in nature
Synonyms: Animated, cheerful, bouncy, graceful, happy, merry, non-chalant, whimsical
Antonyms: burdensome, heavy
Light hearted is the way I feel
When everything feels right
When it goes the way I planned
I smile day and night
Heavy hearted on the other hand
Is always lurking near
But It`s heavy hearted feelings
that help the light appear
So don`t try to bury sadness
It`s bound to come around
Behind the darkest feelings
good feelings can be found
I have been hard on myself, easy on myself, and I have played the sadness game many times. Lately I find myself feeling heavy hearted and lacking enthusiasm. I went to bed wondering about this emotion lighthearted and woke up with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Throughout the day my thoughts lingered on dictionaries and definitions, synonyms and antonyms. I thought about looking up lighthearted, but soon after, that thought was forgotten. Somehow I made it over the hump because here I am. Ain`t life grand?
My problem it seems is this; I have decided to take my yoga knowledge to a whole new level and have enrolled in a teacher certification program. No, this is not the problem. The problem is that in doing this I have decided that it is finally time to quit smoking. And guess what? This time I want to. The problem is this; I am giving up something that I have loved for a long time, an addiction, a friend, and a lover at times, a stimulant, my morning companion, and I am not happy about it. Not yet anyway. To achieve this quitting thing I am taking the latest “miracle pill” prescribed to me by my doctor. Is it working? Why yes, it is. It makes me so sick that the last thing I want to do is inhale those feel good fumes that come from my nicotine stick. I am experiencing feelings of loss. I walk around not knowing what I want, and wondering what is missing. The cigarette of course is what’s missing. So how does someone experiencing the heaviness of giving up something they used to love, find the light? By telling myself this; I love smoking, but it is not good for me, so therefore, I am a NON-SMOKER. These are the magic words. They are what helped me start my walk back to carrying a light heart. Today is day eight and I find that I can breathe easier, I feel clean air surging through my lungs, and I like it. I like it a lot.
The point of this story is this; we will not always be smiling and carrying light hearts. Sometimes our loads will be heavy and hard to bear. Sometimes we will have to give up things we love in order to feel better about ourselves and our circumstances. It is during the heavy days that we may have to give it over to time and allow the ticking of the clock to do its magic. This is called hope, and it is the hopeful who are lighthearted, and full of joy. They are truly whimsical, like children playing in the rain.
Through this experience I have discovered that I always held tightly to every cigarette I smoked. I am also known to hold tightly to emotions that are bad for me. If letting go is one of the best things we can do to decrease our load size, then why do we not let go more often, be quicker about it, you know. I believe it’s because we are afraid to let go of the emotions that we are so used to feeling. We are afraid of what it will be like to live without them, even if it is good for you. Yet to reach the light we must travel light. Lighthearted is something you feel in your chest and in your mind, it is hardly there, it does not weigh you down, or feel wrong, it just is, it is light and it brings so much, much more life, and smiles, it rests, it sings, it runs, it plays. Next time you feel heavy; throw a thought or two away. I guarantee you can live without them. Then go and watch a child play; their light hearts are contagious. I also guarantee that you will smile at what a child has to say.
Rule One: To drop a heavy load, drop a thought or two, take a chance or three, take a break, you see?
Rule Two: Light hearted people let their feelings come and go. They never hold on too tightly.
Rule Three: Let it be, good or bad, let it slide, the reward is a light heart.
Rule Four: Sometimes I believe that we can learn more from children than they can from us. “Hear” a child today.
Special thanks to the people who have shown me that they are proud of my attempt at quitting smoking. Thanks, for the words; “I am a NON-SMOKER” they are getting me over the hump. People and things will be as we choose to “see” them. I choose to be a non-smoker today. I also choose not to carry such a heavy load….. I threw away my cigarettes. J
