Courageous
Definition: brave, bold
Synonyms: fearless, gallant, heroic, daring, assured,
undaunted, strong, tenacious
Antonyms: cowardly, fearful, timid, shy, weak
Someone close to me committed suicide. That’s a nice way of
putting it, I guess. The dumb-ass up and killed herself, boom, bang, jump. Now
she is gone. Was it an act of courage? Was she feeling courageous? Or was it a
moment of weakness? I have thought about this, of course I have. For months now
I have cried, examined all that was left behind, accepted, denied again, loved,
hated. I have longed for, what I don’t know, and I have felt around for a courageous
way to approach life without this person. Everyone who knew and loved her is
scared. But we all have something courageous in common, we all have life, we
all dare to live it.
Courageous is a great emotion. Today I am feeling it. I have
done all I set out to do, ok fine, except that, oh and that too, still it’s no
excuse to feel weak, or timid, I still feel courage. Not doing something you
set out to do is not failure. We are allowed to put things off. We are allowed
to change our minds. The days I find are long enough to do all I want to do. I
am not a believer in the phrase, “There aren’t enough hours in a day.” I
believe that we have just the right amount of time. Some people try to do too much;
they find courage in conquering big tasks during their 24 hours. Then there are
those who simply live hour to hour, taking everything in stride, wanting only
what comes, no regrets, no mistakes, feeling courageous for facing yet another
day.
Somewhere along the way my friend decided that life was just
24 hours followed by another 24 hours, then another and another. She did not
know what to do with so many hours. It became too intimidating for her to fill
so much time with tasks and courageous effort. In a moment of weakness, she ended
her time here. In the passing months I continue to ask myself, “Does it take
courage to live, or courage to take your own life? Does it matter?
It matters a lot. Moments of weakness followed by acts of courage make up our days. What we need to
remember are the acts of courage, the ones we commit and those that the people
around us achieve. Then we need to let each other know that we believe, we
believe in life, and we believe in them. Most of all we believe in ourselves. There
is life after losing someone you love. We go on because we want to know what
comes next and no matter how rocky the road may be we will continue to walk,
stumble, fall, sometimes cutting ourselves deep, but we will get up. Another 24
hours may very well be all we need to go from weakness to courage. It is worth
the wait. It is worth the effort. Life is worthy of you. So always choose to
stay. It’s ok to feel weak, it’s ok to rest, but never forget the strength
inside and let it emerge in courageous ways. Yes, in our hearts, we will
forever carry our loved ones tears in these delicate glass vessels, knowing
that they may explode at any time through our own eyes. But that’s ok, crying
is allowed, crying is courageous. Finding the courage to tell someone, perhaps
a stranger, why you are crying may be your first step from weakness towards
courage. Whether you are thinking of leaving, or are the one left behind, think
of one step and take it. Live to tell about every 24 hours no matter how bad
they may be, or feel, or seem. The moment that changes everything may be just
around the block, the corner, or right there. . .your next breath.
Does it take courage to die? Yes, if death is something you
cannot avoid.
Does it take courage to take your own life? Yes, but you won’t
live to tell about it.
Does it take courage to live? Yes. Those who live their 24
hours, accepting the things they cannot change, fighting back fair, speaking up
rather than shutting up, getting up, instead of lying down . Now those are the
people who live courageously 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. At times they may
think of ending it all, but they wait it out; maybe they want to be remembered
as a lifetime of courage, not a moment of weakness.
Rule One: There are no rules
Rule Two: There are no rules
Rule Three: There are no rules.
Really, what would we do in a world without rules? It looks
a little empty. Yes, we are free to make some rules up, free to break a few
more. We have choices, every day we have choices. We have the choice to set
some healthy rules and live by them, or we can choose to set no rules, but that
may mean facing another 24 hours without hope, then another, and another and
honestly we are better than hopeless. We are meant to be hopeful. We are
supposed to keep trying. What if those were the rules?
Look at this. . .
Rule Four: For the next 24 hours show someone that they are worthy.
Rule Five: For the next 365 days, believe that you are worthy.
See what I mean, life is but a series of moments, during
some we feel loss, during others we gain. You can make the rules up as you go
if you like, but do keep on going. It is ok to feel, and be, vulnerable.
In fact vulnerability creates courageous individuals. It takes guts to be here,
to live these 24 hours a day, every day, 365 days a year, but I am doing it,
and the truth is; I don’t want to miss a thing. I am glad that you are also
doing it; I know it is not always easy, but that’s ok, we will find a way, even
if it’s a new way, every 24 hours. We are not alone, I am here, and you are
there, and all I can say is that I am so happy that you are feeling courageous
with me.
