Empowered

Empowered

Definition: to give power or authority to, authorize, enable

Synonyms: allow, entitle, grant, invest, permit, privilege

Antonyms: refuse, reject, revoke

I have written pages and pages of notes on this emotion. I have asked myself so many questions that it would take me months to answer them all. And then this morning, I opened my eyes, and I stretched every muscle in my body. I reached above my head, twisted this way and that, and I smiled. I empowered my body to move before allowing my mind to think, and I came to this conclusion; writing about positive emotions is supposed to be easy, it is not supposed to be complicated. I focused my energy on the muscles in my face, I smiled wider. I spent a few more minutes concentrating on how my body felt with all of this attention. The empowered feelings were quickly spreading to my brain. I felt wonderful. You see, I have a rule. When I wake up, I get out of bed before I have time to think about how good the bed feels, I then go to the kitchen, make coffee, take a cup, and go outside for a cigarette, (it is not time to discuss smoking yet, we will go there another time) then I go about the yoga business that I call part of my life. The only way to actually do this yoga is to make it part of my daily routine, it requires no thought, my body wakes up once it is conditioned by yoga. I am used to my mind waking my body up, but this morning I did backwards I let my body wake up my mind, and I have to say it did not feel like so much of a struggle to get going. I was feeling empowered because my body felt powerful before I got out of bed. Wow!

Empowering clients is one of the many jobs a counsellor has. In order to live healthy lives we sometimes have to make lasting changes. Sometimes we just have to change, period. There is nothing wrong with seeking help, I mean it is empowering just to be able to admit we need the help in the first place, but ok, let us go in this direction;

So far today I have stretched myself awake, which led to empowering my mind.

I did yoga for an hour which to me there is no better way to feel emotionally and physically empowered.

I packed lunches for my family and gave out hugs and kisses, empowering all of those involved with love.

I complimented a mother at my daughter’s school on her outfit (it really was a great outfit, all classy and matching, and sharp) I empowered her to feel good about herself and empowered myself to continue feeling empowered.

I have been to work and back home again, taken phone calls, returned emails, made beds, loaded the dishwasher, and washed some dishes the old fashioned way. Now I sit with pen in hand, black ink decorating each lined page with thoughts and ideas, questions, and emotions. None of these things I have done today feel like work to me. I am feeling empowered and strong, capable, and willing. Yet someone else having this same experience may not be feeling as I feel. We all have individual experiences and the results at the end of the day depend on how we react to situations and how we choose to feel at any given time. So then, how do you choose to feel at the end of the day? I choose to have no regrets.

Everything is about choice. We really do have a choice. Can you imagine a world in which we empower (allow) ourselves and others to choose. Wow!

Rule One: Empower a stranger with a compliment today, you may be changing a life.

Rule Two: Feeling empowered happens when you allow yourself to believe in who you are and what you do.

I remember a time when I was feeling like my life had no purpose. I spent weeks living my negative thoughts and dull life. I thought of ways out, I stopped thinking about ways in. Then one day I gave myself permission to feel this way for one more day. “Tomorrow everything changes,” I thought. “Tomorrow I start to choose a different way of doing things.” It did not even take me until the next day. Within moments of allowing myself to feel down, negative, and just plain rotten, I was already acting like a positive go getter, who thrives on the feel good emotions I write about. This is why I say; choose to feel positive, but allow yourself to experience every emotion so that your mind and your body knows what to stay away from.

Rule Three: The best way to feel empowered is to first realize that you have the right to choose. Isn’t it empowering just to know that the choice is up to you? Wow!

I do not care what we suffer from; dependency, poor health, mental health, a life threatening illness, how you live the remainder of your days are up to you and nobody else. This is empowering. The choice to feel happy, joyful, successful, and empowered, is yours. Wow!

Rule Four: Allow others to be themselves with you. Be yourself with others.

Rule Five: Feeling empowered is up to you. Empowering another person is also up to you.

Are you powerful enough to help empower others? You are! I knew you were! You really are a wonderful being!

Rule Six: What do you have a positive experience? Just do it, just feel it, and just live it!

Open Hearted

Open Hearted

Definition: Frank

Synonyms: candid, direct, honest, open, sincere, straightforward, truthful, kind

Antonyms: greedy, mean, ungenerous, deceptive, dishonest, lying

Someone once told me that they believed children are born greedy. That it is up us to change them. I hope she has changed her opinions because I happen to be in total disagreement. I believe that children are taught greed, and guess what? I also believe that we teach them this emotion by showing them how important “more” is to us, and in our demonstrations of how wanting more and more” is acceptable. Greed is an emotion children learn along their life paths. We are born as open hearted beings. I choose to believe that we are mostly open hearted individuals. I believe that sometimes it is a good thing to wear your heart on your sleeve. Doesn`t this make you vulnerable you ask¿ Maybe, but being vulnerable isn’t always a bad thing. I mean, don’t you want to be vulnerable sometimes, I do. I want to be vulnerable when it comes to positivity. So what does it take to experience feelings of open heartedness every day? What are the benefits of this emotion? Are there any downfalls, like vulnerability for example¿?

Can you imagine yourself as a deceptive, dishonest person who lies to get their way and is generally mean? Has being mean become a way of life for you? I cannot imagine myself like this. I will never let the devil in me win. And it is true that we all have a devil inside, but does he/she deserve to control our thoughts and our lives? No!

Being open hearted comes natural to us. I choose to believe this as well. I come across many people who are always pointing out the imperfections in others. Why do they talk like this I ask myself? They do this so that they may feel a little more perfect themselves. There openness however, is not coming from the heart. This frankness is insecurity and comes from a place of fear. In order to truly be open hearted we must first be honest with ourselves and we must ask ourselves, “Why do we do the things we do? Why do we choose certain ways of talking to others, at others?” When we have some answers it is then up to us to be open enough to deal with our truth and lay our devil to rest. The devil in us should not be ahead, our open heartedness deserves to take the lead. That needy, greedy devil does not believe in open hearts, he feeds off fear, and fear as we know it does not our hearts open.

I believe that I am an open hearted person. I give freely, (ok, ok sometimes I do the poor me thing especially when I feel like I am being taken for granted, but again I am human, and sometimes the devil in takes over temporarily)I believe in honesty, honestly I do, and I am frank with myself and my emotions. When I am having an open hearted moment I find myself living open hearted experiences. I feel close to something larger than myself, I call this largeness God. Here is an example of what is possible when you carry open hearted feelings on your sleeve:

One day, last summer, I was really missing my dad. Anyone who has had a beloved pass away will know how these feelings of loss can steal your positive emotions and leave you faithless, angry, and no longer hoping. One day I asked God for a sign, “Yes,” I said, “it is me again, asking again, God. I am sorry for my lack of faith but please give me a sign. Let me know that my dad hears me when I speak to him. Let me know that there is more.” When my dad passed away I had already pleaded with God and signs always came in the form of butterflies. I have had extraordinary things happen, that to me prove, there is something more, something larger, something much more beautiful than the grandest sight on earth. I forgot about my pleas to God quickly this time, and one day while I was out for a walk with my daughter and the puppy, something happened that would once again have me believing that my dad was indeed watching over me. We came to a tree down the street where a slight movement in the branch caught my eye. I called my daughter over to have a look at the Monarch butterfly sitting on the leave. As I pointed out the sight to my very open hearted little girl I remembered asking God weeks earlier to show me something amazing. As I thought about this, we watched this glorious creature fly off the branch and straight onto my forearm. I was speechless. My daughter’s eyes widened in amazement. The puppy sat still. As the butterfly attached itself to my arm I said, “This is grandpa. I just know it is grandpa,” and I told my daughter what I had asked God for. She smiled, “I believe it is grandpa, mommy,” she said. I said hello to the butterfly as if I were talking to my dad himself and at that moment the butterfly turned on my arm to face me. I wanted to cry, but the smile on my face would not give way to tears. At last I tried to shake the butterfly loose, telling it to fly on home. Holding my daughter tight I gave thanks and said good-bye to my dad again. Well, the butterfly would not go. I had to physically remove it and send it flying. Eyes locked on me this butterfly had a message. It wanted me to know that my prayers had been answered. I know that we all have miracles to share. Most of us are open hearted enough to see these miracles daily, but many of us are so caught up in the negative feelings that dare to drown us that we do not allow ourselves to see the proof God sends us. Do you notice how God did not answer my prayers immediately? He waited until my heart was open, until I was out walking, thinking only about the steps I was taking, before he showed me what I wanted to see. Then again, maybe he had already tried to answer my prayer, but maybe my heart was not open enough to see. Imagine what we may be missing¿

Rule One: Open your heart to possibilities. Live your life as if anything were possible.

Rule Two: Give from the heart. This means you expect nothing in return.

Rule Three: Be open hearted with yourself and the hearts of others will open for you.

I believe in goodness. I choose to feel open hearted, for in so doing, my life opens like a book and the story is worth living. I do not want to miss the miracles around me. I want to be open to seeing a miracle every day. I do not want to miss all of the butterflies in my life. I want one to sit on my arm, right next to my vulnerable heart.

Rule Four: It is not easy to feel open hearted at all times. We tend to think selfishly. In order to live with positive emotions, especially open hearted ones, we must first experience its negative form then we will know what to stay away from.

Rule Five: Open hearted people believe in kindness and are honest with themselves.

Comforted

Comforted

Meaning: (verb) To soothe, console or reassure, to aid, support, or encourage

(Noun) A feeling of relief or consolation, a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety.

Synonyms: aid, assist, confirm, console, free, nourish, soothe, etc.

Antonyms: annoy, bother, distress, trouble, irritate

To feel comforted. Isn’t this what we all long for? I see too many people feeling troubled, annoyed, bothered, distressed, and irritated by life circumstances that are out of their control. If we can make changes; we procrastinate, and look for changes that bring temporary relief. Is it any wonder that some people look for comfort in drugs, alcohol, and food, (to name a few)? I have turned outside of myself many times in the past looking for a quick fix to the sadness’s I have suffered and the losses I wanted found. There have been times when I wondered why the world kept spinning¿ I mean here I was, stuck in the axis of hell, alone, afraid, unwanted and everyone else just kept on living, ``What is up with this¿`` I wondered. I did not feel comforted. I did not know how to comfort myself with feelings, so I tried comforting myself with substance, but this did not work.

 I have given this emotion more heart-felt thought than any other so far. There was a time when comforted was not something I chose to feel. I did not know that I had to go to comfort; I thought that comfort should find me. I guess from time to time it did, but did it ever stay? No. Today it is with me but it is only because whenever I catch myself feeling irritated or troubled I immediately walk to comfort and embrace it.

The other day I asked myself; “How can someone experience comforted if they do not have the object that is associated with it, take a blanket for example…I was feeling chilly so I sat in the corner of the sofa and hugged my knees to my chest. I envisioned myself surrounded in warmth. I closed my eyes and let myself retreat into the moment, just me, as is, peaceful in my mind. What I found was instant comfort. Comfort I realized is in the present moment. It is what we want it to be; it is a state of mind. I ask myself what does someone who lives a comforted life look like¿

Comfortable people will awake on a bed, on the floor, or wherever they may be and know that what comforts them is their thoughts. As they go about their day they may feel anxious, bored, sad, needy, and let down, but during these times they will not look for instant comfort, rather they will let these feelings surface, meet them, and greet them, and then say good-bye to them as comfort takes over once again. These people are comforted by the idea that everything comes and goes and that the only way to release negative feelings is to comfort them away with positive emotions.

Rule One: Comfort is a state of mind. Be mindful of what you are feeling.

Rule Two: Long term comfort is not found outside the self.

Rule Three: Comfort yourself mentally; it is the only way to achieve physical results.

Comforted is an emotion we long for, one many of us do not know how to hold on to. I believe it is called perseverance; you just keep inviting comfort in. Today I let myself be comforted by the simple things; my breath, my sight, the sense of smell, even if it was rotting food as I took out the trash. I watched my puppy lying at my feet, comforted by simply knowing that I was nearby. I rubbed behind her ear and she woke up, ``I know you care,`` her eyes told me. She was feeling comforted, this I knew.

Rule Four: Scratching behind someone ear will not just comfort them, it will comfort you as well. Give comfort away.

I realize how hard it is for us to be comfortable all the time, even a Buddhist monk is bound to feel discomfort. Mentally however, we are what we feel. Like any other positive emotion, if we want it to stick around we need to look for ways to disconnect from its negative form so that the positive has a place to dwell.

Rule Five: Comfortable is often found in the uncomfortable. Do not allow destructive, temporary remedies to be your comfort.

A long term solution requires dedication, commitment, and perseverance. Comfort is a lifelong goal, a choice, and an emotion that you and I deserve to feel every second of every minute.

Rule Six: Lifelong goals are worth the effort. Make an effort to feel comforted today.

Kind

Kind

Meaning: generous, good

Synonyms: compassionate, friendly, gracious, loving, thoughtful – to name a few.

Antonyms: bad, bitter, cruel, inconsiderate, unfriendly, ungenerous

Being kind should come easily. I remember being in high school. We would have these books going around, I do not remember what we called them, but in these books we would write what we thought about other people. This does not sound very kind, but all of our names were in there and it was all in fun. In these books we always put “kind” next to a person’s name we liked. Looking back, the ones with all the KINDS beside their name were always the ones who were inconsiderate, talked behind your back or frowned when something good happened to someone other than them. Maybe we put kind down because we didn’t want to admit how we really felt about those people. We were giving out this emotion as a title not as a feeling and we all wanted to be considered “kind”. I believe that to some extent we are all kind……but do we “feel” kind aka generous? This is the question.

Kind should of course be an emotion that we feel daily, it should not need to be forced. Think about it, isn’t kind a part of who we really are. It is natural to frown when others win out over us, this does not mean that we are secretly unkind. It simply means that we are capable of feeling many things and it is ok to “go there” once in a while.

Of course there will be times in life when we experience feelings of bitterness, cruelty and unfairness. We all raise our voices at those we love because they are simply “in our way”. We may swear at an unbeknownst driver for cutting us off. We lie to get our way, and curse our neighbor because he always gets the breaks. I have done all of this. Sometimes I have these great conversations in my mind where I tell the people I am angry at exactly what I think about them. Am I still holding the emotion “kind” while I have these thoughts or do these things? I believe so, yes. I believe with all of my heart that kind is a part of human nature. Some of us just let go for too long and in doing so begin to thrive on cruelty.

Some rules would be:

Rule One: Generous people attract kindness. Kind people bring out generosity in others.

Rule Two: Be extra kind at least once a day, this means going out of your way for someone else. Being cruel is exhausting.

I believe that the world is made up of kind people. I was raised in a family where prayer was highly recommended. I too recommend prayer being part of your daily life, but you see, my family prayed for all the bad people in the world and I was told to keep praying because the world is a sad place filled with mean people. It took years of practice but today I do not see the world as being a scary place filled with rotten people. To me the world is filled with kindness. I mean really, look around you. We come together for so many causes. We donate to flood victims, raise money for the poor, help the lost, and fulfill the wishes of those who are dying. And these are just a few of the many, many things we do daily. These are wonderful things, done by wonderful people, who are living their life based on the emotion “kind”. It is true that there may be a few bad apples amongst us, but is it true that they do not know kind?. Maybe these people need someone to be extra kind to them today. Maybe these “bad” people “went there” and haven’t come back. Maybe, just maybe, we can help someone come back today.

I do not feel that I need to live each day choosing kind as an emotion. I feel as if “kind” has chosen me. What I need to know is that I can always go a little further and be a little more thoughtful. I do not want to take this emotion for granted. I want to be gracious in my giving and loving in my living.

Rule Three: Remember the bad apple; a little thought into how you slice it and it may still be saved.

Affluent

Affluent

Dictionary meaning: wealthy, having an abundance of wealth

Synonyms: loaded, upscale, stinking rich, upper-class, well-to-do, well of

Antonyms: destitute, needy, poor

Affluent is an emotion¿ Wow! I did not know this. I didn’t even really know the meaning of the word to tell the truth. I did however come face to face with its antonym, needy, many a time. How often do we go about our day feeling needy and poor? Too often. “Oh poor, poor me,” we complain. And I am not referring to money, as you may have guessed.

I have a friend who lives by the motto, “The grass is not always greener on the other side.” I believe that it is by going against this statement that we find ourselves needy and poor. Looking back I feel as if I have lived most of my life trying to force things to happen. It is when we don’t wait to see the outcome that we feel needy. Waiting, they say, is the hardest part, but really it is much harder emotionally when we realize that we did not get the things we wanted because we tried to force them to happen. The flow of life brings all that is necessary for us to live enriched lives. Forcing things to happen prolongs happiness. Wouldn`t be wonderful if we could remember this daily¿ It is hard, but we can try!

This blog is about emotions and how to use the positive in our lives. With this in mind, here is what I really want to write…

Wealth is not measured by material possessions. We should all know this; I mean it has been written about millions of times. Yet we all need to be reminded, don’t we? The wealthiest people I have ever met are rich in spirit and values. They have a positive belief system, and a dedicated energy that explodes in brilliant light from their every pore. These people do not care about how many things they own, whether they are driving the latest car, or what make of shoes is on their feet. People who live “affluent” every day believe that riches are a part of their personality, not their wallet. These people go out of their way for others. These are the people you can trust, count on, and believe in. These affluent beings know themselves. They succeed because they have been wealthy inside all along.

I do not see myself as a material individual. I do however admit to wondering about the grass on the other side of the fence all too often. Sometimes I catch myself dwelling on what I do not have, or what it may be like to live life as my neighbor does. I forget to be happy with the way things are in and around me, and in so doing, I create too many waves in the stream that is my life. I need some rules for this great emotion. It is time to be reminded of how affluent I really am.

Rule One: Forget about the other side of the fence and give special care to the green on your side. Chances are you have been standing on your wealth all along.

Rule Two: An upper-class heart is not found in a wallet.

Rule Three: Your needs are always met, do not force things to happen.

Rule Four: A `poor me ‘attitude does not wealth bring.

Rule Five: Choose affluent, it is a wealthy emotion!

Loved

Loved

Dictionary meaning: (as a verb) to have love or affection for, to have profound, tender, passionate, affection for.

The meaning of this word is endless it seems, also personal and should be looked up by everyone.

Synonyms: tenderness, warmth, passion, adoration, liking

Antonyms: hate, dislike, detest

 I sit here with “loved” as an emotion on my mind. What to write, I wonder, what to write, and how oh how do I do it “right”? Is there really a right way to explain how to love or feel loved¿ I doubt it, so let us go with this:

My daughter picked out my emotion a few days ago and I asked her what she thought about “loved”. “Is it something you get or something you give away?” I inquired. It took her about two seconds to come up with a reply, “both.” she said. Straight from the mouth of a babe, you cannot go wrong with that.

It has been days since I first wondered how to go about writing this and I believe that in order to spend a day with this loved emotion at my side I must first give love away, for only in giving love away will one be capable of knowing how to receive it. We all have moments when our hearts ache at the thoughts we have of being unloved. We dwell on feelings of self-loathing, loneliness and hate. We remind ourselves of all the times in the past when we have been wronged, disrespected, rejected, and walked on. And what is it that we cry out while allowing ourselves to feel all of these negative things, oh that`s right, we shout, No one loves me. Could it be that we are not really loving others, I mean really, how can we be loving when what we are recalling is hateful. Remember the opposite of hate is love and consider this; when something is not working for us, we change it, often doing the opposite of what we have grown accustomed to. If we are suffering from hate the only thing left to do is love.

Today I choose to give love away. I will complete all tasks with love, giving particular attention to the details that satisfy the people in my life. I will reach out with a loving hug to those I feel impatient with, and I will smile when I feel like frowning….I am eager to receive the love that awaits me.

Love is a never ending journey; Live your journey LOVED.

Rule One: To feel loved you must first learn to give love.

Rule Two: A small loving gesture means more than a large expensive gift.

Rule Three: Hateful thoughts believe in themselves. Do not let hate in, do not let hate win.

Motivated

Motivated

Dictionary meaning:  to provide with a motive or motives; incite; impel

Synonyms: give incentive, innerve, inspirit, set afoot, spark, trigger, pique

Antonyms: depress, disconnect, discourage, dissuade

The best thing I can do when I am feeling disconnected, discouraged or even depressed is to find myself some good old fashioned motivation. “Easier said than done,” you say. “Oh, believe me, I know.” But really, isn’t life just a series of habits we develop along the way? Some are good habits, such as making the bed as soon as we get up in the morning. Some are bad habits; chewing our nails. Some are destructive; choosing to feel discouraged, and some are healthy; like choosing the apple over the hot fudge double chocolate brownie. I wonder….how will I choose today?

As I dropped my daughter off at school this morning I found myself anxious about my plans to write today. The truth is that I am afraid I won’t follow through and I am really tired of letting myself down. By the time I got back this morning my mind was already busy looking for excuses as to why I should wait until tomorrow to put all of my thoughts on paper. So I went about it in a whole new way. I reminded myself that this writing daily thing is new to me, and I cut myself some slack. Not everything I write needs to make sense, in fact nothing needs to make any sense to anyone but me. I find I write best when I stop looking for perfection. Who is perfect anyway? I feel motivated when I allow myself the idea of failure. I am walking motivation when I give myself room to learn and lots of space for error.

I am thinking about my daughter now and how she goes about her day, “J” as if motivation were her middle name. Children are not born making excuses or putting off what needs to be done “now”. I suppose that if I did not remind my daughter that it was time for her to get dressed for school in the morning that some days she may sit around in her pyjamas watching TV all day. But in her world however, there are rules (followed most of the time) and I believe that it is in following those rules that she stays motivated. Note**sometimes rules need to be broken, what fun would life be otherwiseJ. I wonder though how many of us are lacking in the motivation department because we are breaking “the rules” too often. Personally I have let this bad habit of feeling discouraged consume me for too long so today I will write myself a new list of rules. My emotions are my choice and I choose to be motivated not discouraged. Motivated is the emotion of the day! May we all feel this motivated all year through!

Rule # 1: Choose to feel motivated.

Rule # 2: If feeling discouraged, see rule # 1.

Rule # 3: Do not forget the rules.