Release

Release

Definition: To free from confinement, bondage, obligation, pain, let go. To free from anything that restrains; liberation from anything that restrains.

Synonyms: absolution, deliverance, discharge, freeing, freedom, liberty etc.

Antonyms: hold (most noteworthy)

Release the parts of you that hate, the parts of you that fear. Release the thoughts that hold you captive, the thoughts that keep you lonely. Release all thoughts that keep you from experiencing each moment, the thoughts that keep you trapped in living out the expectations of others and of society. Release the need to be like everyone else. Allow yourself to be who you are, even if that person is different from day to day, hey, it’s all part of growing. Learn to release the pieces of you that do not fit the puzzle, as you see it.

 Letting go is the first step toward getting what you most need.

Truth lies in the moment, as is. The truth, however, could change by morning, so release the need to always know the truth; we may never know it at all. Some believe that truth is the biggest lie? For today just be, just see!

I have written release as a feeling many times and have not posted until today for the simple reason that I had to first start to release a lot of old habits myself. I found the easiest way toward release was to keep it simple. I could use long, complicated sentences to try to explain to you how to incorporate release into your everyday life, but there isn’t a big enough word, or a small enough sentence that will ever do that. The choice to release what is unhealthy and not working for you, must come from you.

Would you prefer to read long complicated sentences filled with fancy words that hold absolutely no meaning for you, or would you rather hear someone speak in small words that have a BIG meaning, one you do understand?

Rule One: Let go of nonsense. Release the need to look good, “be” good instead.

Rule Two: Keep it simple.

Rule Three: The more you release the fuller you will feel. Practice the art of release every day.

                    

Lighthearted

Light-hearted

Definition: Buoyant, light, or lively in nature

Synonyms: Animated, cheerful, bouncy, graceful, happy, merry, non-chalant, whimsical

Antonyms: burdensome, heavy

Light hearted is the way I feel

When everything feels right

When it goes the way I planned

I smile day and night

Heavy hearted on the other hand

Is always lurking near

But It`s heavy hearted feelings

that help the light appear

So don`t try to bury sadness

It`s bound to come around

Behind the darkest feelings

good feelings can be found

I have been hard on myself, easy on myself, and I have played the sadness game many times. Lately I find myself feeling heavy hearted and lacking enthusiasm. I went to bed wondering about this emotion lighthearted and woke up with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Throughout the day my thoughts lingered on dictionaries and definitions, synonyms and antonyms. I thought about looking up lighthearted, but soon after, that thought was forgotten. Somehow I made it over the hump because here I am. Ain`t life grand?

My problem it seems is this; I have decided to take my yoga knowledge to a whole new level and have enrolled in a teacher certification program. No, this is not the problem. The problem is that in doing this I have decided that it is finally time to quit smoking. And guess what? This time I want to. The problem is this; I am giving up something that I have loved for a long time, an addiction, a friend, and a lover at times, a stimulant, my morning companion, and I am not happy about it. Not yet anyway. To achieve this quitting thing I am taking the latest “miracle pill” prescribed to me by my doctor. Is it working? Why yes, it is. It makes me so sick that the last thing I want to do is inhale those feel good fumes that come from my nicotine stick. I am experiencing feelings of loss. I walk around not knowing what I want, and wondering what is missing. The cigarette of course is what’s missing. So how does someone experiencing the heaviness of giving up something they used to love, find the light? By telling myself this; I love smoking, but it is not good for me, so therefore, I am a NON-SMOKER. These are the magic words. They are what helped me start my walk back to carrying a light heart. Today is day eight and I find that I can breathe easier, I feel clean air surging through my lungs, and I like it. I like it a lot.

The point of this story is this; we will not always be smiling and carrying light hearts. Sometimes our loads will be heavy and hard to bear. Sometimes we will have to give up things we love in order to feel better about ourselves and our circumstances. It is during the heavy days that we may have to give it over to time and allow the ticking of the clock to do its magic. This is called hope, and it is the hopeful who are lighthearted, and full of joy. They are truly whimsical, like children playing in the rain.

Through this experience I have discovered that I always held tightly to every cigarette I smoked. I am also known to hold tightly to emotions that are bad for me.  If letting go is one of the best things we can do to decrease our load size, then why do we not let go more often, be quicker about it, you know. I believe it’s because we are afraid to let go of the emotions that we are so used to feeling. We are afraid of what it will be like to live without them, even if it is good for you. Yet to reach the light we must travel light.  Lighthearted is something you feel in your chest and in your mind, it is hardly there, it does not weigh you down, or feel wrong, it just is, it is light and it brings so much, much more life, and smiles, it rests, it sings, it runs, it plays. Next time you feel heavy; throw a thought or two away. I guarantee you can live without them. Then go and watch a child play; their light hearts are contagious. I also guarantee that you will smile at what a child has to say.

Rule One: To drop a heavy load, drop a thought or two, take a chance or three, take a break, you see?

Rule Two: Light hearted people let their feelings come and go. They never hold on too tightly.

Rule Three: Let it be, good or bad, let it slide, the reward is a light heart.

Rule Four: Sometimes I believe that we can learn more from children than they can from us. “Hear” a child today.

Special thanks to the people who have shown me that they are proud of my attempt at quitting smoking. Thanks, for the words; “I am a NON-SMOKER” they are getting me over the hump. People and things will be as we choose to “see” them. I choose to be a non-smoker today. I also choose not to carry such a heavy load….. I threw away my cigarettes. J

Worthwhile/Worthy

The emotion my daughter picked from the bunch was “worthwhile”. I have decided to use both worthwhile and worthy in my blog as worthy is something I can better identify with.

Worthwhile

Definition: Helpful

Synonyms: beneficial, gainful, good, invaluable, productive, useful

Antonyms: unhelpful, valueless, worthless

Worthy

Definition: honorable, respectable

Synonyms: dependable, admirable, best, pleasing, noble, valuable, worthwhile

Antonyms: Unworthy, dishonorable, disreputable, un-respected.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was someone who believed in dreams and dreaming, love and loving, everlasting bliss. On wings of hope she flew through life believing in the impossible, feeling as if anything were possible. She was young, hopeful, felt worthy of love, bliss, and dreams. She sailed through each day knowing that every wish would eventually come true, and if it didn’t, that was ok too; because life itself was the best wish she had been granted. She was alive with joy, emotions, and gratitude. Life was good. The days were bright, the nights filled with color, as she put pen to paper, purple ink coloring page after page with words meant to touch the hearts of some, the souls of others, the lives of many.

And then there came a day, not so long ago, when alone within her sorrow, her wounds, her tears, she gazed at the black ink on her page and discovered that every word was now about pain and suffering, each sentence filled with rage. She walked into the cage, sat still in the corner and cried. It was her choice to be there. Her time to find the emotion “worthy” once again.

It took more than one loss, one heart break, one thing going wrong, before she began writing in black, and it would take more than one good day before the colors of happiness would return to her. Worthwhile was a word from the past, she no longer knew its meaning, but she was determined to find it once again. It had taken years to fully experience this emotion that helped her feel noble, admired, and honored, that sometimes during her battle she wondered if would ever experience it again. Patient, she rose when she fell, stayed in the cage when she was too tired to get up, slept when her eyes were too heavy to open. After so many years with feelings of unworthiness taking control of her mind, her heart, and her pen, she felt like giving up, and it was then, that her eyes fell upon a set of words that would begin to bring back shades of purple, pink, and sky blue. These words were simply; it is up to you to make the best of what you are given. She made her choice.

One day, not so long ago, she returned purple ink to page, and it was on yellow lined paper that she began to scribble about hope, believing, happiness, and possibilities. Every word she wrote is worthwhile, every sentence believable, every moment of the past, be it the good or the bad, has been accepted as her life and it is all “OK”. All of the mistakes, the hurt, the doors left open, the ones closed, the roads less travelled, and those travelled by few, have all been accepted as a worthwhile experience. It is her life, nothing changed, as is, that helped her find the worthy person she is today. She accepted the parts of her past that had rocked her, the ones that shocked her, and those that knocked her on her ass. Every day is a new opportunity to try again, live again, and sometimes fail again, and that is OK too. She made herself a small list of rules and she tries, every day, to live by them. If ever she finds herself in the cage, feeling sad, or rage, or unworthy, she looks at her list, and soon she remembers that it is all just part of today, a day, not so long ago.

Rule one: To heal wounds, old and new, consider yourself worthy of healing. What you feel you are worthy of will eventually make its way to you.

Rule Two: Make the best of what you are given. It only hurts as long as you allow it to hurt.

Rule Three: Be a believer of worthiness, believe that nothing is impossible.

Rule Four: “I am worthy” are the most powerful words you can say to yourself, remember to say them today.

Understanding

Understanding

Definition: (The definition must be looked up) Appreciate, comprehend, to accept as true

Synonyms: accept, conceive, distinguish, explain, figure out, realize, perceive, register, see, sympathize, empathize, tolerate

Antonyms: misunderstand, misinterpret, unaccepting

This is my fourth or fifth attempt at writing “understanding”. During my crawl to the finish line I have discovered a few things about myself. This is one of them.

Sometimes I feel like I do not understand anything at all. I do not understand why there is poverty, hunger, war, disease, and abuse, to name a few. I do however, accept that these things exist and this is what keeps me sane. It is in my willingness to accept the things I cannot change that I will find the willingness to change the things I can. I believe this comes from the Serenity Prayer, it’s a good one! There are some things that I do not want to accept as being true in my life. I have scars from the past that still bleed and this makes me vulnerable. During the last two weeks I have wondered why I am more accepting of others than I am of myself. I have come to the conclusion that I need to be more forgiving towards myself and my shortcomings. I need to accept my past as being what it is, grab the lesson and move myself into the present moment, for it is here that life needs me to be. I have this feeling that my lack of using “understanding” as a healthy emotion stems from an unforgiven past. I have been working at forgiving myself for my mistakes, and failures. We all have scars, right? We all have demons to battle, right? Some carry small knives; others carry large, dangerous, sharp swords. Some scab over and heal quickly, others require more care, a stitch or two. But every one of your demons and scars needs forgiveness before they can be put to rest.

Rule one: Understand that “understanding” lies in accepting things for what they are. Some things cannot be changed.

Rule Two: In order to enjoy feelings of true understanding we must choose to understand that the past is one of the things that cannot be changed. No matter how much you plan, the future really is unknown, so why on earth do we waste our present moments giving so much meaning to both the future and the past?

I am going to keep this one short. I believe that I need to personally work through this emotion daily if I am to be all that I can be. I have committed to learning how to live an understanding life, mentally, and whole heartedly. I want to accept today as being “demon free” and the only way to do this is to have no regrets. This will require forgiveness of self.

Rule Three: When demons knock, you have a choice; let them in and let them take over the party, or tell them you have learned the lesson they came to teach and quickly say good-bye. Which will you choose?

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes:

Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first, the lesson afterward. (Anonymous)

Understanding Part Two

If all else fails refer to a song.
 This is today’s pick:

”Sometimes it’s a Bitch” performed by Stevie Nicks, Lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi and Billy Falcon

(I hope you feel the “breeze” more often than the “bitch”)

Sometimes it's a Bitch

 

Well I've run through rainbows and castles of candy

I cried a river of tears from the pain

I try to dance with what life has to hand me

My partner's been pleasure, my partner's been pain

There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle

And dark desperate hours that nobody sees

My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain

My head in my hands, down on my knees

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes love's blind, and sometimes it sees

Sometimes it's roses, and, sometimes it's weeds

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure

I've laid down with love and I woke up with lies

What's it all worth only the heart can measure

It's not what's in the mirror, but what's left inside

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes love's blind, and sometimes it sees

Sometimes it's roses, and, sometimes it's weeds

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

You gotta take it as it comes

Sometimes it don't come easy

I've run through rainbows and castles of candy

And I've cried a river of tears from the pain

I tried to dance with what life had to hand me

And if I could, I'd do it all over again

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes love's blind, and sometimes it sees

Sometimes it's roses, and, sometimes it's weeds

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze

Sometimes the picture just ain't what it seems

You get what you want, but it's not what you need

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes, it's a breeze

Well it's a breeze, it's a breeze, it's a breeze

Triumphant

Triumphant

Definition: Successful

Synonyms: elated, glorious, happy, jubilant, on top, proud, victorious

Antonyms: defeated, failing, losing, unsuccessful

Picture this: You have just finished a five mile run. Yet, up until today you had just been jogging four miles. When you first set out, at half a mile per day, your goal was to work your way into the five mile range. Sweat beading on your forehead, feet throbbing in your latest Nike footwear you come to a stop and stretch your aching calves. How do you feel? Triumphant! You have achieved your goal.

Picture this: You have been moping around the house for days. It takes every ounce of strength just to get out of bed, but you do it anyway. You eat breakfast, or is it considered lunch, I mean it is one o`clock in the afternoon. You shower, get dressed, and plop yourself in front of the television set. Your feet form puddles of sweat on the floor and your head throbs beneath your freshly shampooed hair. When you first set out, your goal was to at least get out of bed, then shower. How do you feel? Probably like what you have accomplished is not enough. Yet, you should be feeling triumphant, so why aren’t you? Could it be that you believe that emotions such as successful, aka triumphant, are reserved for those people who achieve “BIG” things. Is it possible that we have been programmed from an early age to believe this foolishness? Probably. The truth is that we deserve to feel these powerful, positive emotions every day because of all the things we do, big or small. Sometimes the smallest achievements make the biggest difference and this is what we need to re-program ourselves to believe.

I’m female, so I am going to bring up PMS as an example. If you do not know what PMS (aka pre-menstrual syndrome) is, feel free to get a definition from the dictionary. J PMS hits me hard sometimes, and this morning as I waited for my coffee to brew, I looked over to the other side of the kitchen at the empty bowl my doggies drink out of. “Fill me,” it screeched, “but, but,” I screeched back, “how am I supposed to walk all the way over there?” I simply felt like I could not move. After getting through the morning basics, may I mention in double the time it usually takes me, I made a to do list for the day and I gave myself permission to do only two or three of the eight things I wrote down. OK the truth is that achieving just one thing would bring me feelings of triumph. J I went on to do that one thing, then I found myself completing another, then another. The more triumphant I felt, the more energy I had, the more I achieved. As I write, I notice that everything on my list has been crossed off.

Picture this; People who feel triumphant continue to achieve success because they refuse to entertain feelings of failing, losing, and feeling defeated for long periods of time. I know that at one time or another we have all felt like running away. There may be times when we feel like there is just no way to crawl out of the hole our desperate, negative feeling have dug us into. If however, you are anything like me, you have crawled out many times, and for that crawl alone you should allow yourself to feel triumphant. Often in life it is never about the destination, it is about the “crawl”. It is during the crawl that the thought of change first occurs to us. It is during the crawl that we first begin to see the light of triumphant shining in the distance.

Rule One: You do not need to stand on top of the world to feel triumphant; all you need to stand on is your own two feet. Your elbows and your knees may also be enough to get you started on the crawl.

Rule Two: Give yourself a break. Small successes everyday are more rewarding than one big achievement in a lifetime.

PS.

I wrote all of this two mornings ago, believing that I would be blogging it that afternoon. As it turned out, one thing led to another, the day got busy, my plans changed, PMS got my legs and my fingers, and at the end of 48 hours I found myself feeling anything but triumphant. I felt defeated. This morning I crawled out of bed, dragged myself into the shower, and twenty minutes later, coffee and cigarette in hand, I reminded myself about choices. I quickly took responsibility for mine and decided to feel Triumphant right there and then. Sure enough, within minutes, feelings of success and victory began to linger at the corners of my mind. I let them enter and here I am blogging away.

Rule Three: Failing allows you another chance at success. Allow yourself to do both because both can be rewarding.

Picture this; aware of how you have failed to live up to your commitments in the past you are forcing yourself to finish something on time. In your rush to get it done you achieve nothing at all. You get lost in the world of finishing, and forget to credit yourself for beginning it in the first place. How do you get back on track? You wipe the sweat off your eyebrow, massage your tired feet, and you allow yourself to feel successful, triumphant, and victorious for the simple fact that you are even aware of what is going on in your life right now. You remind yourself that you are human, and if necessary, you crawl on your elbows and knees to the finish line, but you never stop feeling triumphant, no matter how long it takes you to get there. It took me much longer than I thought it would to get this emotion blogged. I basically crawled to the finish line.  I made it because I chose to believe this;

Rule Four: Choose to feel Triumphant, especially when your mind begins to entertain feelings of failing. Small achievements often make the biggest difference.

Rule Five: A marathon participant may never make it to the finish line. Triumphant occurs in the simply fact that they took the first step.

Empowered

Empowered

Definition: to give power or authority to, authorize, enable

Synonyms: allow, entitle, grant, invest, permit, privilege

Antonyms: refuse, reject, revoke

I have written pages and pages of notes on this emotion. I have asked myself so many questions that it would take me months to answer them all. And then this morning, I opened my eyes, and I stretched every muscle in my body. I reached above my head, twisted this way and that, and I smiled. I empowered my body to move before allowing my mind to think, and I came to this conclusion; writing about positive emotions is supposed to be easy, it is not supposed to be complicated. I focused my energy on the muscles in my face, I smiled wider. I spent a few more minutes concentrating on how my body felt with all of this attention. The empowered feelings were quickly spreading to my brain. I felt wonderful. You see, I have a rule. When I wake up, I get out of bed before I have time to think about how good the bed feels, I then go to the kitchen, make coffee, take a cup, and go outside for a cigarette, (it is not time to discuss smoking yet, we will go there another time) then I go about the yoga business that I call part of my life. The only way to actually do this yoga is to make it part of my daily routine, it requires no thought, my body wakes up once it is conditioned by yoga. I am used to my mind waking my body up, but this morning I did backwards I let my body wake up my mind, and I have to say it did not feel like so much of a struggle to get going. I was feeling empowered because my body felt powerful before I got out of bed. Wow!

Empowering clients is one of the many jobs a counsellor has. In order to live healthy lives we sometimes have to make lasting changes. Sometimes we just have to change, period. There is nothing wrong with seeking help, I mean it is empowering just to be able to admit we need the help in the first place, but ok, let us go in this direction;

So far today I have stretched myself awake, which led to empowering my mind.

I did yoga for an hour which to me there is no better way to feel emotionally and physically empowered.

I packed lunches for my family and gave out hugs and kisses, empowering all of those involved with love.

I complimented a mother at my daughter’s school on her outfit (it really was a great outfit, all classy and matching, and sharp) I empowered her to feel good about herself and empowered myself to continue feeling empowered.

I have been to work and back home again, taken phone calls, returned emails, made beds, loaded the dishwasher, and washed some dishes the old fashioned way. Now I sit with pen in hand, black ink decorating each lined page with thoughts and ideas, questions, and emotions. None of these things I have done today feel like work to me. I am feeling empowered and strong, capable, and willing. Yet someone else having this same experience may not be feeling as I feel. We all have individual experiences and the results at the end of the day depend on how we react to situations and how we choose to feel at any given time. So then, how do you choose to feel at the end of the day? I choose to have no regrets.

Everything is about choice. We really do have a choice. Can you imagine a world in which we empower (allow) ourselves and others to choose. Wow!

Rule One: Empower a stranger with a compliment today, you may be changing a life.

Rule Two: Feeling empowered happens when you allow yourself to believe in who you are and what you do.

I remember a time when I was feeling like my life had no purpose. I spent weeks living my negative thoughts and dull life. I thought of ways out, I stopped thinking about ways in. Then one day I gave myself permission to feel this way for one more day. “Tomorrow everything changes,” I thought. “Tomorrow I start to choose a different way of doing things.” It did not even take me until the next day. Within moments of allowing myself to feel down, negative, and just plain rotten, I was already acting like a positive go getter, who thrives on the feel good emotions I write about. This is why I say; choose to feel positive, but allow yourself to experience every emotion so that your mind and your body knows what to stay away from.

Rule Three: The best way to feel empowered is to first realize that you have the right to choose. Isn’t it empowering just to know that the choice is up to you? Wow!

I do not care what we suffer from; dependency, poor health, mental health, a life threatening illness, how you live the remainder of your days are up to you and nobody else. This is empowering. The choice to feel happy, joyful, successful, and empowered, is yours. Wow!

Rule Four: Allow others to be themselves with you. Be yourself with others.

Rule Five: Feeling empowered is up to you. Empowering another person is also up to you.

Are you powerful enough to help empower others? You are! I knew you were! You really are a wonderful being!

Rule Six: What do you have a positive experience? Just do it, just feel it, and just live it!

Open Hearted

Open Hearted

Definition: Frank

Synonyms: candid, direct, honest, open, sincere, straightforward, truthful, kind

Antonyms: greedy, mean, ungenerous, deceptive, dishonest, lying

Someone once told me that they believed children are born greedy. That it is up us to change them. I hope she has changed her opinions because I happen to be in total disagreement. I believe that children are taught greed, and guess what? I also believe that we teach them this emotion by showing them how important “more” is to us, and in our demonstrations of how wanting more and more” is acceptable. Greed is an emotion children learn along their life paths. We are born as open hearted beings. I choose to believe that we are mostly open hearted individuals. I believe that sometimes it is a good thing to wear your heart on your sleeve. Doesn`t this make you vulnerable you ask¿ Maybe, but being vulnerable isn’t always a bad thing. I mean, don’t you want to be vulnerable sometimes, I do. I want to be vulnerable when it comes to positivity. So what does it take to experience feelings of open heartedness every day? What are the benefits of this emotion? Are there any downfalls, like vulnerability for example¿?

Can you imagine yourself as a deceptive, dishonest person who lies to get their way and is generally mean? Has being mean become a way of life for you? I cannot imagine myself like this. I will never let the devil in me win. And it is true that we all have a devil inside, but does he/she deserve to control our thoughts and our lives? No!

Being open hearted comes natural to us. I choose to believe this as well. I come across many people who are always pointing out the imperfections in others. Why do they talk like this I ask myself? They do this so that they may feel a little more perfect themselves. There openness however, is not coming from the heart. This frankness is insecurity and comes from a place of fear. In order to truly be open hearted we must first be honest with ourselves and we must ask ourselves, “Why do we do the things we do? Why do we choose certain ways of talking to others, at others?” When we have some answers it is then up to us to be open enough to deal with our truth and lay our devil to rest. The devil in us should not be ahead, our open heartedness deserves to take the lead. That needy, greedy devil does not believe in open hearts, he feeds off fear, and fear as we know it does not our hearts open.

I believe that I am an open hearted person. I give freely, (ok, ok sometimes I do the poor me thing especially when I feel like I am being taken for granted, but again I am human, and sometimes the devil in takes over temporarily)I believe in honesty, honestly I do, and I am frank with myself and my emotions. When I am having an open hearted moment I find myself living open hearted experiences. I feel close to something larger than myself, I call this largeness God. Here is an example of what is possible when you carry open hearted feelings on your sleeve:

One day, last summer, I was really missing my dad. Anyone who has had a beloved pass away will know how these feelings of loss can steal your positive emotions and leave you faithless, angry, and no longer hoping. One day I asked God for a sign, “Yes,” I said, “it is me again, asking again, God. I am sorry for my lack of faith but please give me a sign. Let me know that my dad hears me when I speak to him. Let me know that there is more.” When my dad passed away I had already pleaded with God and signs always came in the form of butterflies. I have had extraordinary things happen, that to me prove, there is something more, something larger, something much more beautiful than the grandest sight on earth. I forgot about my pleas to God quickly this time, and one day while I was out for a walk with my daughter and the puppy, something happened that would once again have me believing that my dad was indeed watching over me. We came to a tree down the street where a slight movement in the branch caught my eye. I called my daughter over to have a look at the Monarch butterfly sitting on the leave. As I pointed out the sight to my very open hearted little girl I remembered asking God weeks earlier to show me something amazing. As I thought about this, we watched this glorious creature fly off the branch and straight onto my forearm. I was speechless. My daughter’s eyes widened in amazement. The puppy sat still. As the butterfly attached itself to my arm I said, “This is grandpa. I just know it is grandpa,” and I told my daughter what I had asked God for. She smiled, “I believe it is grandpa, mommy,” she said. I said hello to the butterfly as if I were talking to my dad himself and at that moment the butterfly turned on my arm to face me. I wanted to cry, but the smile on my face would not give way to tears. At last I tried to shake the butterfly loose, telling it to fly on home. Holding my daughter tight I gave thanks and said good-bye to my dad again. Well, the butterfly would not go. I had to physically remove it and send it flying. Eyes locked on me this butterfly had a message. It wanted me to know that my prayers had been answered. I know that we all have miracles to share. Most of us are open hearted enough to see these miracles daily, but many of us are so caught up in the negative feelings that dare to drown us that we do not allow ourselves to see the proof God sends us. Do you notice how God did not answer my prayers immediately? He waited until my heart was open, until I was out walking, thinking only about the steps I was taking, before he showed me what I wanted to see. Then again, maybe he had already tried to answer my prayer, but maybe my heart was not open enough to see. Imagine what we may be missing¿

Rule One: Open your heart to possibilities. Live your life as if anything were possible.

Rule Two: Give from the heart. This means you expect nothing in return.

Rule Three: Be open hearted with yourself and the hearts of others will open for you.

I believe in goodness. I choose to feel open hearted, for in so doing, my life opens like a book and the story is worth living. I do not want to miss the miracles around me. I want to be open to seeing a miracle every day. I do not want to miss all of the butterflies in my life. I want one to sit on my arm, right next to my vulnerable heart.

Rule Four: It is not easy to feel open hearted at all times. We tend to think selfishly. In order to live with positive emotions, especially open hearted ones, we must first experience its negative form then we will know what to stay away from.

Rule Five: Open hearted people believe in kindness and are honest with themselves.

Comforted

Comforted

Meaning: (verb) To soothe, console or reassure, to aid, support, or encourage

(Noun) A feeling of relief or consolation, a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety.

Synonyms: aid, assist, confirm, console, free, nourish, soothe, etc.

Antonyms: annoy, bother, distress, trouble, irritate

To feel comforted. Isn’t this what we all long for? I see too many people feeling troubled, annoyed, bothered, distressed, and irritated by life circumstances that are out of their control. If we can make changes; we procrastinate, and look for changes that bring temporary relief. Is it any wonder that some people look for comfort in drugs, alcohol, and food, (to name a few)? I have turned outside of myself many times in the past looking for a quick fix to the sadness’s I have suffered and the losses I wanted found. There have been times when I wondered why the world kept spinning¿ I mean here I was, stuck in the axis of hell, alone, afraid, unwanted and everyone else just kept on living, ``What is up with this¿`` I wondered. I did not feel comforted. I did not know how to comfort myself with feelings, so I tried comforting myself with substance, but this did not work.

 I have given this emotion more heart-felt thought than any other so far. There was a time when comforted was not something I chose to feel. I did not know that I had to go to comfort; I thought that comfort should find me. I guess from time to time it did, but did it ever stay? No. Today it is with me but it is only because whenever I catch myself feeling irritated or troubled I immediately walk to comfort and embrace it.

The other day I asked myself; “How can someone experience comforted if they do not have the object that is associated with it, take a blanket for example…I was feeling chilly so I sat in the corner of the sofa and hugged my knees to my chest. I envisioned myself surrounded in warmth. I closed my eyes and let myself retreat into the moment, just me, as is, peaceful in my mind. What I found was instant comfort. Comfort I realized is in the present moment. It is what we want it to be; it is a state of mind. I ask myself what does someone who lives a comforted life look like¿

Comfortable people will awake on a bed, on the floor, or wherever they may be and know that what comforts them is their thoughts. As they go about their day they may feel anxious, bored, sad, needy, and let down, but during these times they will not look for instant comfort, rather they will let these feelings surface, meet them, and greet them, and then say good-bye to them as comfort takes over once again. These people are comforted by the idea that everything comes and goes and that the only way to release negative feelings is to comfort them away with positive emotions.

Rule One: Comfort is a state of mind. Be mindful of what you are feeling.

Rule Two: Long term comfort is not found outside the self.

Rule Three: Comfort yourself mentally; it is the only way to achieve physical results.

Comforted is an emotion we long for, one many of us do not know how to hold on to. I believe it is called perseverance; you just keep inviting comfort in. Today I let myself be comforted by the simple things; my breath, my sight, the sense of smell, even if it was rotting food as I took out the trash. I watched my puppy lying at my feet, comforted by simply knowing that I was nearby. I rubbed behind her ear and she woke up, ``I know you care,`` her eyes told me. She was feeling comforted, this I knew.

Rule Four: Scratching behind someone ear will not just comfort them, it will comfort you as well. Give comfort away.

I realize how hard it is for us to be comfortable all the time, even a Buddhist monk is bound to feel discomfort. Mentally however, we are what we feel. Like any other positive emotion, if we want it to stick around we need to look for ways to disconnect from its negative form so that the positive has a place to dwell.

Rule Five: Comfortable is often found in the uncomfortable. Do not allow destructive, temporary remedies to be your comfort.

A long term solution requires dedication, commitment, and perseverance. Comfort is a lifelong goal, a choice, and an emotion that you and I deserve to feel every second of every minute.

Rule Six: Lifelong goals are worth the effort. Make an effort to feel comforted today.

Kind

Kind

Meaning: generous, good

Synonyms: compassionate, friendly, gracious, loving, thoughtful – to name a few.

Antonyms: bad, bitter, cruel, inconsiderate, unfriendly, ungenerous

Being kind should come easily. I remember being in high school. We would have these books going around, I do not remember what we called them, but in these books we would write what we thought about other people. This does not sound very kind, but all of our names were in there and it was all in fun. In these books we always put “kind” next to a person’s name we liked. Looking back, the ones with all the KINDS beside their name were always the ones who were inconsiderate, talked behind your back or frowned when something good happened to someone other than them. Maybe we put kind down because we didn’t want to admit how we really felt about those people. We were giving out this emotion as a title not as a feeling and we all wanted to be considered “kind”. I believe that to some extent we are all kind……but do we “feel” kind aka generous? This is the question.

Kind should of course be an emotion that we feel daily, it should not need to be forced. Think about it, isn’t kind a part of who we really are. It is natural to frown when others win out over us, this does not mean that we are secretly unkind. It simply means that we are capable of feeling many things and it is ok to “go there” once in a while.

Of course there will be times in life when we experience feelings of bitterness, cruelty and unfairness. We all raise our voices at those we love because they are simply “in our way”. We may swear at an unbeknownst driver for cutting us off. We lie to get our way, and curse our neighbor because he always gets the breaks. I have done all of this. Sometimes I have these great conversations in my mind where I tell the people I am angry at exactly what I think about them. Am I still holding the emotion “kind” while I have these thoughts or do these things? I believe so, yes. I believe with all of my heart that kind is a part of human nature. Some of us just let go for too long and in doing so begin to thrive on cruelty.

Some rules would be:

Rule One: Generous people attract kindness. Kind people bring out generosity in others.

Rule Two: Be extra kind at least once a day, this means going out of your way for someone else. Being cruel is exhausting.

I believe that the world is made up of kind people. I was raised in a family where prayer was highly recommended. I too recommend prayer being part of your daily life, but you see, my family prayed for all the bad people in the world and I was told to keep praying because the world is a sad place filled with mean people. It took years of practice but today I do not see the world as being a scary place filled with rotten people. To me the world is filled with kindness. I mean really, look around you. We come together for so many causes. We donate to flood victims, raise money for the poor, help the lost, and fulfill the wishes of those who are dying. And these are just a few of the many, many things we do daily. These are wonderful things, done by wonderful people, who are living their life based on the emotion “kind”. It is true that there may be a few bad apples amongst us, but is it true that they do not know kind?. Maybe these people need someone to be extra kind to them today. Maybe these “bad” people “went there” and haven’t come back. Maybe, just maybe, we can help someone come back today.

I do not feel that I need to live each day choosing kind as an emotion. I feel as if “kind” has chosen me. What I need to know is that I can always go a little further and be a little more thoughtful. I do not want to take this emotion for granted. I want to be gracious in my giving and loving in my living.

Rule Three: Remember the bad apple; a little thought into how you slice it and it may still be saved.

Affluent

Affluent

Dictionary meaning: wealthy, having an abundance of wealth

Synonyms: loaded, upscale, stinking rich, upper-class, well-to-do, well of

Antonyms: destitute, needy, poor

Affluent is an emotion¿ Wow! I did not know this. I didn’t even really know the meaning of the word to tell the truth. I did however come face to face with its antonym, needy, many a time. How often do we go about our day feeling needy and poor? Too often. “Oh poor, poor me,” we complain. And I am not referring to money, as you may have guessed.

I have a friend who lives by the motto, “The grass is not always greener on the other side.” I believe that it is by going against this statement that we find ourselves needy and poor. Looking back I feel as if I have lived most of my life trying to force things to happen. It is when we don’t wait to see the outcome that we feel needy. Waiting, they say, is the hardest part, but really it is much harder emotionally when we realize that we did not get the things we wanted because we tried to force them to happen. The flow of life brings all that is necessary for us to live enriched lives. Forcing things to happen prolongs happiness. Wouldn`t be wonderful if we could remember this daily¿ It is hard, but we can try!

This blog is about emotions and how to use the positive in our lives. With this in mind, here is what I really want to write…

Wealth is not measured by material possessions. We should all know this; I mean it has been written about millions of times. Yet we all need to be reminded, don’t we? The wealthiest people I have ever met are rich in spirit and values. They have a positive belief system, and a dedicated energy that explodes in brilliant light from their every pore. These people do not care about how many things they own, whether they are driving the latest car, or what make of shoes is on their feet. People who live “affluent” every day believe that riches are a part of their personality, not their wallet. These people go out of their way for others. These are the people you can trust, count on, and believe in. These affluent beings know themselves. They succeed because they have been wealthy inside all along.

I do not see myself as a material individual. I do however admit to wondering about the grass on the other side of the fence all too often. Sometimes I catch myself dwelling on what I do not have, or what it may be like to live life as my neighbor does. I forget to be happy with the way things are in and around me, and in so doing, I create too many waves in the stream that is my life. I need some rules for this great emotion. It is time to be reminded of how affluent I really am.

Rule One: Forget about the other side of the fence and give special care to the green on your side. Chances are you have been standing on your wealth all along.

Rule Two: An upper-class heart is not found in a wallet.

Rule Three: Your needs are always met, do not force things to happen.

Rule Four: A `poor me ‘attitude does not wealth bring.

Rule Five: Choose affluent, it is a wealthy emotion!

Loved

Loved

Dictionary meaning: (as a verb) to have love or affection for, to have profound, tender, passionate, affection for.

The meaning of this word is endless it seems, also personal and should be looked up by everyone.

Synonyms: tenderness, warmth, passion, adoration, liking

Antonyms: hate, dislike, detest

 I sit here with “loved” as an emotion on my mind. What to write, I wonder, what to write, and how oh how do I do it “right”? Is there really a right way to explain how to love or feel loved¿ I doubt it, so let us go with this:

My daughter picked out my emotion a few days ago and I asked her what she thought about “loved”. “Is it something you get or something you give away?” I inquired. It took her about two seconds to come up with a reply, “both.” she said. Straight from the mouth of a babe, you cannot go wrong with that.

It has been days since I first wondered how to go about writing this and I believe that in order to spend a day with this loved emotion at my side I must first give love away, for only in giving love away will one be capable of knowing how to receive it. We all have moments when our hearts ache at the thoughts we have of being unloved. We dwell on feelings of self-loathing, loneliness and hate. We remind ourselves of all the times in the past when we have been wronged, disrespected, rejected, and walked on. And what is it that we cry out while allowing ourselves to feel all of these negative things, oh that`s right, we shout, No one loves me. Could it be that we are not really loving others, I mean really, how can we be loving when what we are recalling is hateful. Remember the opposite of hate is love and consider this; when something is not working for us, we change it, often doing the opposite of what we have grown accustomed to. If we are suffering from hate the only thing left to do is love.

Today I choose to give love away. I will complete all tasks with love, giving particular attention to the details that satisfy the people in my life. I will reach out with a loving hug to those I feel impatient with, and I will smile when I feel like frowning….I am eager to receive the love that awaits me.

Love is a never ending journey; Live your journey LOVED.

Rule One: To feel loved you must first learn to give love.

Rule Two: A small loving gesture means more than a large expensive gift.

Rule Three: Hateful thoughts believe in themselves. Do not let hate in, do not let hate win.

Motivated

Motivated

Dictionary meaning:  to provide with a motive or motives; incite; impel

Synonyms: give incentive, innerve, inspirit, set afoot, spark, trigger, pique

Antonyms: depress, disconnect, discourage, dissuade

The best thing I can do when I am feeling disconnected, discouraged or even depressed is to find myself some good old fashioned motivation. “Easier said than done,” you say. “Oh, believe me, I know.” But really, isn’t life just a series of habits we develop along the way? Some are good habits, such as making the bed as soon as we get up in the morning. Some are bad habits; chewing our nails. Some are destructive; choosing to feel discouraged, and some are healthy; like choosing the apple over the hot fudge double chocolate brownie. I wonder….how will I choose today?

As I dropped my daughter off at school this morning I found myself anxious about my plans to write today. The truth is that I am afraid I won’t follow through and I am really tired of letting myself down. By the time I got back this morning my mind was already busy looking for excuses as to why I should wait until tomorrow to put all of my thoughts on paper. So I went about it in a whole new way. I reminded myself that this writing daily thing is new to me, and I cut myself some slack. Not everything I write needs to make sense, in fact nothing needs to make any sense to anyone but me. I find I write best when I stop looking for perfection. Who is perfect anyway? I feel motivated when I allow myself the idea of failure. I am walking motivation when I give myself room to learn and lots of space for error.

I am thinking about my daughter now and how she goes about her day, “J” as if motivation were her middle name. Children are not born making excuses or putting off what needs to be done “now”. I suppose that if I did not remind my daughter that it was time for her to get dressed for school in the morning that some days she may sit around in her pyjamas watching TV all day. But in her world however, there are rules (followed most of the time) and I believe that it is in following those rules that she stays motivated. Note**sometimes rules need to be broken, what fun would life be otherwiseJ. I wonder though how many of us are lacking in the motivation department because we are breaking “the rules” too often. Personally I have let this bad habit of feeling discouraged consume me for too long so today I will write myself a new list of rules. My emotions are my choice and I choose to be motivated not discouraged. Motivated is the emotion of the day! May we all feel this motivated all year through!

Rule # 1: Choose to feel motivated.

Rule # 2: If feeling discouraged, see rule # 1.

Rule # 3: Do not forget the rules.